How we deal with situations that we feel are unfair strips away one of the many protective layers we use to hide our inner soul from the world. Or in some cases, maybe we add an additional layer in order to hide from the ‘unfairness’. Like most, if not all, of you, I have also had the thought from time to time, that life would be much more ‘fair’ if everyone just took responsibility for themselves, did their job, sucked it up and carried on. But ask yourself, where is all the fun and drama in that? Is that what we really want? Human behavior and our emotions say no.
According to the book Victims, Villains and Heroes: Managing Emotions in the Workplace, we are all constantly playing our roles in the reality drama called: Good Triumphs Over Evil. There are only three starring roles in this drama, the Victim, the Villain and the Hero, and once a drama is complete, we happily move on to play a role in the next drama that comes our way. In fact, we are typically seeking out the next drama in which we can audition for the role. Which role are you typically playing?
The Villain: abuses and manipulates the victim
The Victim: is powerless and looks to be saved by the hero
The Hero: seeks to defeat the villain and save the day
Each of these roles gets in the way of accountability. The villain may not make the expectations clear to the victim so they can be set up for failure. The victim has a pity party and doesn’t take any action, while blaming someone else. The hero just jumps in and does the work of others to meet the deadline so the client is happy. None offer a complete solution.
When you realize that you are playing one of these roles—-always go back to those accountability steps to pull yourself out of the drama—-
1. SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS, OR ASK FOR CLARITY
2. MAKE SURE OF CAPABILITIES
3. DECIDE WHAT YOU WILL MEASURE FOR SUCCESS
4. GIVE FEEDBACK IN TIMELY MANNER
5. MAKE SURE CONSEQUENCES ARE COMMUNICATED AND EXECUTED.
For more on accountability check out this additional blog post: https://www.coreimpactcoaching.com/accountability/
Stay out of the drama and your villain, victim, hero behavior, and become an accountable partner instead!