You may find this surprising and even disagree with me, but we each have our own definition of what integrity means to us, and our life. We can’t define what integrity means for someone else. We know what it is for ourselves.
Integrity refers to how our personal life system is set up and whether or not it works easily and effortlessly, or with great struggle. When we are ‘in integrity’ we have fewer problems, we have consistent feelings of peace and well-being, we react to others very little and decisions, and choices are clear and easy. For example, Dan may be very insistent on following rules and staying within the boundaries of those rules in his life. It makes his life easier. Pat may be more forgiving of those rules and view them as guidelines. Pat is willing to bend the rules slightly to allow for different situations and be perfectly within her integrity to be outside of those rules for a particular situation. Both are in their integrity, and both can be peaceful about the decision making process, and find it clear and easy.
When we are ‘out of integrity’ disturbances occur regularly, others are blamed and criticized, we ‘react’ rather than ‘respond’ to others and decisions and choices are difficult, without clarity. In this case Dan would throw the rules out the window and make decisions by shooting from the hip, which would be totally out of character for him. Chaotic outcomes would start to occur in his life. Life would feel harder. He is not aligned with his integrity.
What is your definition of Integrity?
Here are 10 Steps to Restore Your Integrity (adapted from Coach University)
- Make a list of 10 ways you are currently not in integrity.
- Get to the source of each and every item; resolve all fully.
- Make a commitment to start living in integrity, as you see it.
- Let go of at least 10 ‘shoulds’, ‘coulds’, ‘woulds’, and ‘oughts’.
- Involve a coach, a colleague, friend or other supportive person to help you.
- Start getting 50 percent more reserve than you feel you need.
- Stop hanging out with people who are not the best models.
- Eliminate adrenaline and other unhealthy ‘rushes’ in your life.
- Let go of everything you know is not good for you.
- Feed yourself (spirit or mind) with only things that nourish you.
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