I hope you didn’t read the title thinking I had the secret sauce for the answer to this question. You know it’s impossible right? You cannot truly change another person. They can choose to change for themselves and the only person you can truly change is that one looking back at you in the mirror. That is truly the secret.
There is hope though! Others change in reaction to the changes that we make.
Here’s an example.
One of the questions I routinely asked my clients, especially women, in my early coaching days was:
I had noticed that my clients tended to have a false belief about their partners, or their colleagues. They thought all SHOULD know what to do in any given situation. Yet, when the expectation wasn’t met, they were irritated and exasperated. I noticed it in my life too when I expected my husband to know what I needed or wanted without any communication whatsoever. I assumed he read my mind. When I finally figured out my expectations weren’t fair, and I began asking for what I wanted instead, our relationship really improved.
I was reminded of this recently when my daughter made the comment last week, “sometimes it’s better to ‘give more’ of what ‘you want’“.
In other words, if you want more patience from someone, then exhibit more patience yourself. Have more patience with that person and in all other aspects of your life as well. If you believe that what you share with the world comes back to you, (aka karma) then this is another tool you can use to enhance your relationships, improve your communication, and give you more joy and happiness in your life.
What do you want more of in your life? How can you ask for it?
How can you give more of it to others in the world? As Gandhi said
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Check out other ways that we can help at www.coreimpactcoaching.com.